SMILE AND THINK OF ENGLAND

Ah Friday; beloved, beautiful and blissful Friday – If Carlsberg made days, they’d all be Fridays.

If wine and chocolate were known by another name, it’d be Friday.

If a torrential shower of naked Tom Hardys had a technical name, it would be Friday.

In education we live our lives in six and seven week chunks and count down the days to our next break. And, before you know it, you’re on the final countdown to meeting the earthworms and wondering where the hell life went. Why? because it’s exhausting. I never realised how hard teachers worked until I worked alongside them. So when Friday does come around its like your best mate just knocked on your door after a breakup with a mahoosive pizza, three bottles of pink wine and a box of naughty brownies for you both to devour in the baggiest of pants with zero judgement. Seriously, how amazing does that sound?

But if ever there was a day that concluded my week as a write-off, it was last Friday. Let me elaborate for your entertainment.

A student very politely asked me if I was ok because ‘Miss, are you ill? you look really bad – maybe its because you’ve not got any makeup on.’

‘No, I’m not ill thanks love, I’m just absolutely shagged. I’m surviving on blocks of about 3 hours sleep (if we can call it that) and being abruptly disturbed from my incomplete slumber by a miniature dictator that thinks it’s acceptable to howl Mummy’s name because she want’s a sodding cuddle. No other reason than a sodding cuddle. Which ordinarily would be alright I suppose if she hadn’t had about a thousand before demanding a thousand more, a drink of water (new, not old water from about ten minutes ago when I last re-filled the fecking bottle) Couple that with the need for another piss, a further rearrangement of the bastard teddies, fluffing the pillow again and removing everything from the floor and onto the rocking chair because the sharks might eat them. After which I try and escape the room, only to be forced back up the stairs one step at a time with countless ridiculous reasons why she needs, no, absolutely MUST come downstairs and look at the plates. F.M.L.’

That’s what my brain said, but of course my mouth said ‘Yep, just a bit of a cold but I’m ok thanks.’ Thank the Lord for my inner monologue and its ability to stay there. In my head that scenario was played out very differently but when your job depends on professionalism it is always a good idea to stick with it and cry your sorrows into a Chardonnay a few hours later.

But it did teach me quite a valuable lesson – I just can’t get away with going makeup free. When I started this journey my goal was to be able to spend my days without anything on my face and to let it breathe, but when your eyebrows and lashes are so pale they’re almost invisible, your skin has a few scars from a hormonal imbalance wreaking havoc on your complexion, and dark circles to rival a stack of Pirellis, then it’s hard to get through a working day without someone passing comment. So rather than explain myself to everyone I caved and got my hands on some awesome little products to hide the fact that I’m approaching 33 and starting to look it!

img_9351I don’t like wearing makeup because I’m no good at applying it. I’ve always wanted to have a makeup lesson to learn but then I can think of better ways to spend my time and money. So I keep it simple and only use a bare minimum amount of products. I wear mascara everyday and so for something that goes on my eyes I want the most natural that I can get. NATorigin Organic Lenthening mascara was an obvious choice, not only because of the stack of awards that it’s won, the 4-star reviews from loads of users or the ethics behind the brand. It was the 98.5% natural ingredients that was the icing on the cake for me and I’m so happy with my decision. Quite pricey at just over £15 a tube, but just one coat is plenty for me and at that rate it’s probably going to last a good few months. I don’t like using mascara on the bottom lashes for fear of it melting off and looking a big kung fu panda, so my Love Lula Beauty Box leftovers included a couple of fab eyeliners from great brands that love natural as much as I do. I love my Odylique Essential Care contour crayon as its gentle, light and doesn’t smudge during the day so it’s a great everyday product for anyone; not just us eco warriors.

My skin doesn’t like a slathering of foundation and sometimes throws a wobbler when I try to introduce it to a tinted moisturiser so I’ve learnt that less is more. These days a morning moisturiser followed by a dab of concealer and a dusting of powder, is about as much as I can get away with before I either start to look orange, or the dummy is out of the pram again. Barefoot SOS light moisturising lotion is a great lightweight base for me as it doesn’t sit heavy so I can then conceal where I need to without having a bit of a blending nightmare (this is why I don’t fancy my chances with a full contour kit – I’d look like a Picasso) Finally, a dusting of PHB Ethical Beauty loose mineral foundation and I’m good to go. I love this powder; after years of using The Body Shop’s mineral powder only to find it was laced with talc, I struggled to find another that offered the same amount of coverage without being too heavy a product. A family company with awards under its belt, PHB is everything an ethical beauty brand should be – kind to the planet, kind to its people and kind to those in need (they donate 20% of their profits to charity) only a little bit of the product is needed to make a difference.

So here I’m sat on a Sunday with a cuppa in a Tetris mug, the remnants of a bag of cookies and about an hour before Peanut and Mr P rock up from their visit to Grandma’s, and I’m confidently armed with a kit that’s going to make me look like I’m alive tomorrow. Hopefully, we’ll all sleep and wake up refreshed and ready for whatever Monday wants to throw at us.

If Donald Trump wanted to rename the weekdays they’d all be Mondays.

What a horrible, melty-faced sack of turd he is.

Have a great week ladies!

PNW x

*All of these awesome products are available at LoveLula.com

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4 thoughts on “SMILE AND THINK OF ENGLAND

  1. Sorry, but the make up stuff unsurprisingly went well over my head. I look forward to your post on impend My baldness! That would sit slap bang in the middle of ‘issue making me look old and generally shit’and so would garner more than the few minutes my attention span normally allows! I must also pay you both No but respect for the closing gamer of melty faced sack of turd. Sums him up nicely that!

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